My Uncle The Spy (Part III)

"That last catch was swell Neil!"

A young guy in a letter jacket opened the door of the old bar in the industrial section of Trussville, Alabama. "Yea, but it was your great block on that running back that cleared the path!", Neil Self said as they all paused in the open doorway. Neil had always been stocky, tough looking, and also fast, a combination that was usually deadly to the opposing team in the game of high school football. Tonight he wore his letter jacket just like all the other guys. "Ladies first!" Neil jokingly said as he shoved his friend inside the dimly lit room. It was a little after 11:00pm and the few remaining patrons sitting at the bar were unshaven dirty steel workers in for a late night drink before going home.

Neil recognized an old farmer sitting alone, a friend of his father. He lived up the (Old) Springville road and had a small cattle farm. Neil had bailed hay for a dollar a day at his farm when he was younger. It was one of his first jobs and he hated it. The farmer had always been kind to him though, and given him a ride home in his old Model T truck at the end of the workday.

Neil and his four buddies approached the bar top and found a seat. "Jimmie, we are celebrating tonight!" The old bar tender got a worried look in his eye but sat down 4 short whiskey glasses. "Hewitt High is going to state!" Neil proclaimed to the rest of the bar as he held up his glass of Jack Daniels. The four chimed in with hoots, hollers and dog barks. A few even growled and snapped their teeth at one of the other patrons sitting at the end of the bar as if they had turned into Huskies (the school mascot) themselves and had found a nice piece of meat to fight over.

They all downed their drinks and slammed them down on the bartop and pointed to their glasses indicating that the bar tender should "keep em comin'!".

A lone figure in suit jacket and undone tie sat in the shadows in a back booth. His eyes posted on the party at the bar as he sipped his beer in silence. He slowly pulled out a coaches play book with a large white Husky bust on the front and wrote four names on the back page.

~----------------------------------------------------~

Neil sat at his desk reading Beowulf in English class. The teacher lectured on about how fantasy stories in medieval literature had helped bring a sort of escape to the common folk when told by the bards and storytellers. "They also served as a warning, or lesson learned for young people that were told by their parents when the children acted up." The teacher looked at Neil with her annoyed glare. Neil laughed to himself and let a slight smile out as he buried his head behind the text book once more.

All of a sudden the classroom door opened and a messenger handed the teacher a note. "Neil Self, you need to report to Coach Smith in the office." A few smirks and whispers were quickly "shushed" by the teacher as Neil closed his English book and gave a smart-alic wave to everyone as he headed out the door.

Approaching the office, through the glass, he saw his head coach and the principal standing in front of his three buddies that were seated on the bench just inside. Neil took breath and opened the door. "Have a seat Neil". The principal motioned to the bench. "So the word has gotten to me that you guys got drunk and started a fight AGAIN last night at Jimmie's bar. I'm not gonna fault Jimmie. He knows you are all underage but the man has to make some money. The blame lies on you Neil. What is this? The fourth time you guys have started trouble? The first was puking on poor old Ms. Abernathy's front porch, then you hit the stone wall at Mr. Chandler's, not to mention the wreakless driving around Trussville scaring people half to death." The coach paused, "The principle and I have determined that this is the last straw for all of you. We've tried suspension and detention, and its just not getting though your hard heads!" the coach rapped hard on Neil's forehead. Then the principle spoke up, "There has been too much pressure from the school board and the PTA, underage drinking is not the type of example that we want to convey at Hewitt Trussville High. You guys are off the team for the rest of the year. And that means no scholarship referrals either."

Neil's mouth dropped. His first thought was what would "Daddy" say when he found out? His plan was to go to Florida State on a football scholarship and continue his education. He thought he had that taken care of. The Self family didn't have any money to pay for college. He was angry not only at the coach, but at himself. He had to find other options...

As he trudged back to his classroom he noticed a brochure hanging on the "Career Board". The bright brochure heralded the glories of the "weekend warrior" in the Alabama National Guard. He could earn scholarship money and even go to school part time while serving his time! He pulled the push pin out of the cork board and stuffed the brochure in his pocket.

Disclaimer: This and the following blog posts are works of fiction written by myself (Josh Self) that are based on real facts both positive and sometimes not so positive from my uncle's real life and choices that he made. The events and characters in this story could have happened but more than likely happened differently than portrayed here. I would like to thank the family and relatives of Neil Self in advance for allowing this artistic liberty in the spirit of a tribute to his life and an attempt to keep his memory alive through story.

Photo by foundphotoslj
and
by lolaleeloo2

My Uncle The Spy (Part II)

Outskirts of West Berlin, West Germany
10:37 pm August 30th, 1961

The stench of diesel exhaust filled the air. It had snowed the day before and the streets were still icy. Smokey clouds of CO2 puffed out of the exhaust pipes from the convoy of US Army supply trucks that sat idling on the old cobblestone streets. A few yards ahead, a blockade of spiraled razor wire and torn up streets impeded the movement of the trucks filled with vital humanitarian supplies for the recently over run Communist East Berlin.

"What's taking so long?" Sargent Neil Self muttered to himself as he sat in the cab of the old 1952 model Ford army truck. There was talk of an airlift this month of some new 1960 model trucks in this year for their support detachment. They still hadn't arrived. Fortunately, the heat still worked in the old mule. The temperature outside was a bitter 18 degrees tonight and he for one was thankful for the life giving heat coming off of the engine block.

Apparently there was some kind of misunderstanding about the supplies tonight. They had been delivering these convoys over the past few years as the backlash from the Berlin Airlift had subsided. What Sgt. Self didn't know was that on the morning of August 13, 1961, Berliners awoke to discover that on the orders of East German leader Walter Ulbricht, a barbed wire fence had gone up overnight separating West and East Berlin and preventing movement between the two sides. The barbed wire fence would soon be expanded to include an ominous wall and guard towers. The Berlin Wall would prevent the West from having further influence on the East, stop the flow of migrants out of the communist sector, and ultimately become the most iconic image of the Cold War in Europe.

Tonight was one of the first convoys after this historic event and they had been ordered to "stand by for further orders" as their commander went in to negotiate with Soviet officials about this latest "crossing".

Sgt. Self tapped his fuel gauge, which was now showing "E". Half of the gas had been used on the 2 hour drive up from the Clay Headquarters Compound on Clayallee in Berlin's Zehlendorf district. He left the truck running and opened the door and stepped out onto the icy sludge. He slammed the door and pulled out a bent Lucky Strike he'd been saving all night behind his ear. The warm flame from his cold metal Zippo kissed the tip of the cigarette and soon the warm smoke of the tobacco filled his lungs. He closed his eyes for second, the nicotine triggering a memory in his neural synapses of a time not too long ago... a night that he will always think about for the rest of his life...

Disclaimer: This and the following blog posts are works of fiction written by myself (Josh Self) that are based on real facts both positive and sometimes not so positive from my uncle's real life and choices that he made. The events and characters in this story could have happened but more than likely happened differently than portrayed here. I would like to thank the family and relatives of Neil Self in advance for allowing this artistic liberty in the spirit of a tribute to his life and an attempt to keep his memory alive through story.

My Uncle The Spy (Part I)

"(Important) families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground."
-- Francis Bacon

So it was with my uncle Neil...

He passed away a few years ago of a heart condition (that seems to run in our family) and I couldn't make it to his funeral that day for some insignificant reason or another. I've always felt bad for not going and not getting to see him the last few days of his life (but more about that later). Then before my aunt passed away last year of Parkinson's she gave our family some of the few remaining possessions that my uncle had kept around for a few years stored in a back closet, forgotten for years. The first item was a '50s era Army gas mask that is still usable in case of the next bio / nuclear attack. I thought it was cool and useful so I claimed it and use it mostly for a wardrobe prop for my short films.

But, the most mysterious item that was passed down to our family was a strange brown leather briefcase. It sat in the garage on top of my dad's tool cabinet until I happened to see it one day. I found a chair from the kitchen and retrieved it from the dark recesses of the shelf. It was slightly moldy, the hinges rusty with age. I noticed several stickers from moving companies and airlines that were still hanging on, the sticky all dried up and crumbling indicating that it was well traveled. I cleared a small area on my dad's work bench and attempted to open the clasps on the front to allow me to access the mysteries that were hidden within.

The first one flipped open so quickly that it startled me! I started to get excited about finding out what was inside, so I tried the second one and was disappointed to find that it was very rusty and wouldn't even budge. Luckily my dad's "cure-all" was within arms reach. I attached the tiny red straw to the nozzle and sprayed a quick burst of WD-40 into the lock mechanism. I wiggled the open button back and forth a little but no luck. The clasp was actually locked. How do I unlock this? Where is the key? I knew some locksmithing basics (not enough to do anything illegal unfortunately) and remembered that most (older) briefcase locks were kept locked with a simple 1-3 pin tumbler and there are not that many variations of that kind of key. Luckily this one looked and felt like a one pin.

I had an old key from another briefcase that I owned that had one pin. I already had a slight inclination that this key wouldn't work, but i was going to try it anyway. I slowly inserted the key into the keyhole. IT FIT! That was only the first step. As I slowly turned it, i heard a grinding sound. The key begrudgingly turned and finally, after some wiggling, got it all the way around clockwise. Could it be?! I tugged on the clasp button feeling the grinding of the small metal parts inside. The brass flap flipped open, also flipping some WD-40 in my eye. Small price to pay for the final revelation of the contents of the mysterious briefcase. I pulled the old key out and slowly raised the top of the moldy briefcase. As the sunlight from the garage window slowly leaked in to the inner bowels of the case, I heard a metallic scraping and then a sharp metal object sliced out at me from the darkness. I quickly drew my hand back noticing a small red cut on my finger as the top fell closed once again...

To be continued...

photo by Dunechaser

Disclaimer: This and the following blog posts are works of fiction written by myself (Josh Self) that are based on real facts both positive and sometimes not so positive from my uncle's real life and choices that he made. The events and characters in this story could have happened but more than likely happened differently than portrayed here. I would like to thank the family and relatives of Neil Self in advance for allowing this artistic liberty in the spirit of a tribute to his life and an attempt to keep his memory alive through story.

Why I Started Blogging

Recently, my friend and local blogging entrepreneur Wade Kwon here in Birmingham, asked me and other local bloggers to chronicle why I started this whole blogging thing in the first place. So... let me tell you a little about the history of The Horse...You may wanna make yourself comfortable.

The History of The Horse

So, I started The Horse waaaaay back in 2005 on Blogspot (now Blogger) right after Google had purchased Blogspot and were introducing some new features like, mobile uploads via SMS/MMS and email. I found out that my new Samsung phone could send pictures directly to Blogspot, So I decide to try "mobloging" with my cell phone. The first picture I uploaded was a picture of my little palm tree that I kept on my front porch. I had kept it alive for over 3 years so, I was kind of proud of it.

I remember sending that first cell phone picture. Right after I sent it, I ran into my computer room and loaded up "Josh's Cell Phone Blog" and THERE IT WAS! My plant was on the Internet! I was so excited! I showed everyone I could. After that, you couldn't stop me. The next few years I kept "Josh's Cell Phone Blog" as a personal journal and moblog of my life. I uploaded more cell phone pictures and wrote a paragraph or two every once in a while about what was going on in my life. One particular era that I'm glad I blogged about was the job I got on the Wil Ferrel movie Talladega Nights. I shot as many cell phone pics as I could without getting in trouble with the director and actually blogged regularly during that time. Over time my blogging skillz evolved, (kind of like my nun chuck skills) and late last year (2008) I decided to start blogging seriously. I read all I could about professional blogging, studied SEO, keywords, copy writing and marketing and started up two more blogs where I could share some of my "expertise" about the random things that I have learned over the years (like Wedding Photography, writing, and computer/geek/nerd stuff). I converted a few posts I had done on The Horse about photography to my new blog The Wedding PhotogBlog, specializing in the wedding side of photography. Around that time I also converted Josh's Cell Phone Blog into what you see now as The Horse, a blog about technology, geek and nerd stuff. My most recent venture into online affiliate marketing was to start up a blog specifically to route traffic and business to my affliate, thereby making me money as a middle man. As of the time of this posting, I'm putting the final touches on it and I will be announcing it soon via all of my social networks and blogs.

But why do you blog Josh?
Seems like kind of a waste of time. I guess it boils down to a few reasons for me:

1. Monitization - This economy has everyone worried. I needed a backup job, just in case I lose my primary source of income. Blogging can bring in a small profit if done professionally, you know what you're doing and you're willing to stick it out for a year or so. Google AdSense and other ad networks and affiliate programs DO work, if you are good marketer and know how to promote yourself.
2. Keep Learning - I've always been on a quest for new knowledge. I'm always reading and Googleing and Wikipediaing and writing is a great way for me to have fun learning and finding out about cool things in the world.
3. Helping Others - everyone says I'm a good teacher and that I seem to have a knack for explaining things and making things easy to understand. It gives me a certain satisfaction to know that I've helped someone learn something new that they can use to improve themselves or their business.
4. Chronicling - I also use my blogs (especially The Horse) as a personal journal or diary so I can go back and see what was really important to me at the time and see how and why I've changed. Also I in the new Internet age, I want my kids, years down the road (after we get the new holographic blog), to be able to read and see what was important to me and to know who I was and what I believed in at that point in my life.

Why do you blog? Do you want to learn how to blog? Check out the Birmingham Blogging Academy if you want to get serious or maybe just become more informed about the blogosphere.

(Photo by john_a_ward)

Best Book to Movie Adaptations

Valerie Thomas: I guess we thought that maybe Susan Orlean and Leroche could fall in love, and...

Charlie Kaufman: Okay. But, I'm saying, it's like, I don't want to cram in sex or guns or car chases, you know... or characters, you know, learning profound life lessons or growing or coming to like each other or overcoming obstacles to succeed in the end, you know.
I mean... The book isn't like that, and life isn't like that. You know, it just isn't. And... I feel very strongly about this.
~ (from the 2002 film Adaptation staring Nicolas Cage and Meryl Streep)

I love this quote from Adaptation because it embodies the struggle that screenwriters go through in adapting a book to a film. I've attempted an adaptation before and it was alot harder than I thought it would be. You can't just pull chapters verbatim from the book and set them in scenes. So much more goes into an adaptation, like:

• the emotion that the character will convey
• establishing the background for a character
  
• conversion into a classic three act type structure
• making the screenplay dummy proof (suitable for the common man) with appropriate exposition and establishing scenes without spelling everything out and ruining the mystery or storyline.
• worrying about writing "Spec" (technically correct and easily sellable to Hollywood) so you won't be made fun of or rejected outright.
  
• worrying about how close you should stick to the classic three act story structure and Campbellian Monomyth

There are definitely more issues that screenwriters have to deal with but those would be beyond the scope of this blog. (Hopefully I haven't lost most of you by now ;-).

To move on, I've been reading adaptations for a long time and they are some of my favorite types of books. I just love comparing the differences in the film and the book and then finding the hidden story lines and subplots that didn't make it into the film adaptation. So, as promised, here are some of my favorite adaptations:

• Jurassic Park- by Michael Crichton
• The Da Vinci Code - by Dan Brown
• The Lord of the Rings - by J.R.R. Tolkien
• Forrest Gump - by Winston Groom
• Dreamcatcher - by Steven King
• Fight Club - by Chuck Palahniuk
• The Shawshank Redemption- by Steven King
• The Club Dumas (The Ninth Gate) - by Arutro Perez-Reverte
• Harry Potter series - by J.K. Rawling
• The Chronicles of Narnia; The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - by C.S. Lewis
• Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?(Blade Runner) - by Philip K. Dick
• Johnny Mnemonic (a short story from the book Burning Chrome) - by William Gibson

Next time you go watch a new movie, check and see if its an adaptation then pick up the book. Result=increased enjoyment!

(photo by Andrei Z from Flickr)

Josh Self is the writer and editor for The Horse, The Wedding PhotogBlog, Storycrafter, and a writer for The Terminal, Birmingham's most popular hyper-local blog. He always watches the movie first and then reads the book...

My new Wedding Photography Blog

In the past few months I've posted a few articles about my wedding photography business (JSP) and the reaction has been pretty positive. So, I decided to create a blog devoted to the starting and day to day running of a freelance wedding photography business including:

• What gear is worth the money
• sales techniques
• what to sell to your clients (what goes over well)
• shot ideas and examples
• how to shoot engagement pictures
• what I learned the hard way (so you don't have to...)
  

The blog is called The Wedding PhotogBlog.

Basically, you get to follow me around as I start up my business, and we can all figure out how to do it together. I've got about a year head start, but that doesn't mean I know it all and I'm not learning anymore. I learn new things every time I get a wedding gig and each shoot I do.

So, if you are interested in wedding photography, or you're a beginner, want to start your business or have been around the block a few times, please come check it out and leave me a comment! In the mean time I'll be posting all wedding photography related articles over there from now on. I'll still be posting pics and talking about regular photography and gear and geek stuff here on The Horse as well as your normally scheduled program, but I just thought I would let you guys know about my new project from... The Horse's mouth.
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Resolutions and Promises for the New Year

If you could make one resolution this year that would be guaranteed to come true, what would it be?
Lose weight? Earn more money? Travel? Learn a new skill?

We all have our New Years resolutions. Its a good time to "start over" and think about your goals for the following year. What if I told you that you could guarantee yourself success in any of these areas? Listen to what these guys said:

"Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life."
- Wayne Dyer

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."
Thomas Edison

"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
Ray Kroc

The best effect of any book is that it excites the reader to self activity.
~ Thomas Carlyle ~

Follow their advice and you are GUARANTEED to achieve your goals.

• Love what you do: You will never get traction in your goals if you don't like doing that thing. Do you enjoy working out or exercising? If not, is there a way to make it fun for yourself and make it a habit that you will enjoy?
• Put some muscle into it!: Nothing worth having is free, or even easy for that matter. Want to make more money with your photography business? Put some time and energy into making a great portfolio, create and run an ad for your business in: a local newspaper, Facebook, Google AdWords, make business cards, network...
• READ!: all you can about the subject you want to learn about. Learn from other people's success and mistakes. Then take that model and add to it using your own style or flair.

With that in mind, I still usually make a few modest goals at the beginning of the year to just keep pushing myself a little bit more. So here are mine for 2009:

1. eat better and lose 20 lbs.
2. design and set up JSP (Joshua Self Photography)'s website and gallery for my wedding photography business.
3. start up "WaiterGossip", a new blog and website for all restaurant industry employees. (more info coming soon).
4. start up a new photography blog on Blogger (DONE! Check it out...)
   
5. Start writing more short stories and screenplays on Storycrafter.
6. Revamp my photography portfolio
7. Revamp my wedding photography portfolio
8. Start a new ad and marketing campaign for JSP and get at least 5 weddings this season.
9. Pay off 2 credit cards
10. Plan our honeymoon road trip.
11. Get married!
12. Save $20 / week

So, yea... looks like I got a little ambitious. I'll use this as a list to mark off as the year goes by. I know, now that I've written them down, that I can't just sit around watching Entourage and X-Files all day, I need to do something productive.

I also want to quickly thank all of my new readers for checking out The Horse. I will strive to provide some entertaining, or at least readable information that you guys can use this year. I know its gonna be a good year! Woot!
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New Short Story Blog from Josh. Your new Soap Opera on the web.

I just started my new short story writing blog on WordPress. com called Storycrafter. Its a little experiment I’m doing to get my creative writing juices flowing again.

The other day I started this blog so that I could write a few short stories of mine chapter by chapter and my readers could follow along, soap opera style as I write more each day. I have a poll where I am taking suggestions of what to write about. All of the choices are ideas that have interested me recently, so I just need to pick one and start doing it. Help me out peeps!

Storycrafter - http://joshself. wordpress. com/

Emily's blog on writing

My friend Emily wrote this little blog about her writing last night. I thought it was good enough to share with anyone into the arts, entertainment and writing. Great advice!

ars faux-etica Current mood: frustrated I.this is what i just hate seeing in my department: people trying to justify their depth through vague references and carbon copy poetry. your literary worth is not measured through how many contests you win. you're always learning, so always be willing to learn. listen to what everyone has to say, even if it isn't helpful. you'll still learn from it. just don't be everyone at once, don't be your friends, don't be someone else's siamese twin. people shouldn't be saying you're the same person as someone else, or that your writing is just like so-and-so's. it disgusts everyone when you obviously can't be yourself. II. READ. MORE. POETRY. FOR GOD'S SAKE. III.people that aren't willing to learn and change in art drive me absolutely up the wall. improve or get out. it all goes back to the mathemetician that doesn't do his problem the same way expecting different results. stop writing fanfiction; nobody respectable actually writes it. stop writing about vampires or romance novels; it's not what you're here for. if you must write about something you don't know, research the fuck out of it. there will always be someone combing over the details, willing to call you out. there will always be a grammar nazi. fucking deal with it--better your classmates than an agent or an editor who will just send your shit back with a useless rejection letter. IV. assume that nobody cares and it's your job to make them. do critique; it doesn't matter how shitty yours went. in addition, read every critique sheet, even though you know the person has nothing helpful to say. maybe you'll be surprised, or completely disappointed. you're not in a classroom of scholars; deal. yes you'll have to do a ton of stupid exercises. just do them. just read everything given to you. just keep it all, put it in a notebook. later when you're a senior you'll wish you still had all those handouts; you'll want to go back to all the basics you skipped over and refresh your memory. V. burnout is just a lie. you either have what it takes or you don't. VI. i'll be writing for the rest of my life, regardless of what happened in high school.i enjoy every fucking second of it. From: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=2717762&blogID=235496417&indicate=1